All of Fairies' Tales
by Urusaii
Summary: Just a dumping ground of my NaLu one shots. All genres possible. Rating ranging from K to T. Universe ranging from true to alternate. [Chapter One: The Chase]: She was caught in the middle of a gang fight making her frustrated. And he has to endure her talent of whining non-stop.


**A/N** : This is truly considered a crack. Sorry, for the lame writing. I haven't been writing in years so I thought a little fine tuning like this might help. Also, saw this type in one of the fandoms here in fanfiction. Thought I'll give it a try. Hope this doesn't confuse you though. So, on with this crack thingy!

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 **Summary** : She was caught in the middle of a gang fight making her frustrated. And he has to endure her talent of whining non-stop.

 **Genre** : Humor/Romance

 **Rating** : T for language. Seriously Natsu and Gajeel, you ought to wash that filthy mouth of yours.

 **Disclaimer** : Nope. I don't own Fairy Tail.

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 **The Chase**

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"You okay there?"

"After what happened, you're asking me if I'm okay? In this position no less?!"

"Woah, hold on, Blondie. It ain't my fault you get caught up in a gang war."

"Not your—stupid—imbecile— **gah**! It's your well damn fault, _Pinky_!"

"… _what._ "

"I said, it's your damn fault."

"….."

"….Pinky."

"DON'T CALL ME PINKY!"

"Well, seeing as you have _fluffy pink_ tresses, I don't see why not."

"Tresses? Who are you, some kind of a snotty princess from some snotty fairy tale? And for your information, that's natural!"

"Oooh. Naturally manly. Lovely."

"I _am_ manly!"

"Or so you say."

"Also, it's your fault for passing by that street when you know I am confronting that stupid metal-head."

"Excuse me? It was _that_ street I _always_ pass when going home, stupid! Why do I have to be dragged in your stupid nonsense?"

"Because you're there, duh. And the morons assumed you're my girlfriend. As if. I'm not into snotty little princesses with their button noses in the air.

"I am not a snotty princess!"

"Or weird girls with no sex appeal."

"EXCUSE ME?! WEIRD?! NO SEX APPEAL?!"

"Are you deaf? You just have to repeat everything I said."

"God, this is so frustrating!"

"Ow, shit! I think you just cut my wrist!"

"Good. That'll separate us finally."

"Stop crossing your arms, dammit! The cuffs are cutting my wrist!"

"I can do whatever I want. It's your fault for putting me in this predicament anyway. Ow! Stop pulling, idiot!"

"Just put your hands in neutral space, alright? You're cutting my goddamn wrist!"

"Why can't we just go to a mechanic shop or whatever. I want this handcuffs off of us as soon as possible! I still have an essay to write!"

"Do you think I don't want that? With the rate of your shrill yelling, I might go deaf after two hours."

"So? Let's go ask a mechanic—"

"No, I have a chainsaw at home. That'll do."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

"Shit, woman! My eardrums have been violated too much already!"

"You're gonna cut off my arm with that!"

"If you're not gonna stop squirming, your wrist will be cut off any moment now."

"Ugh!"

"…."

"…."

"Huh. I think the metal-head and his gang are still around. Shit, didn't know he's so much of a coward and bring a lot of reinforcements with him. If only…"

"Why are you looking at me?"

"If only you weren't there, I would've probably settled the score with all of them."

"Well, if you were fighting in some dodgy street and not on Strawberry Street, then I wouldn't be caught up in your stupidity and I wouldn't be handcuffed with you, hiding in some dodgy street _where you should have been fighting_ in the first place!"

"Ow, woman! Geez, what do you have for a finger, steel? That fucking hurts!"

"Serves you right."

"And here I thought you're some ojou-sama with nice manners and all that shit."

"For your information, I _have_ nice manners! It's you who's so gruff in handling a lady!"

"Lady? Really? Could've fooled me. With the way you poke me with that steel-like finger of yours."

"You're really wearing my patience thin."

"Thank you. It's what I do best."

"Gah! This is _so_ irritating!"

"….!"

"….!"

"…..ah."

" **PERVERT!** "

"What the hell, woman?! I told you to quit crossing your arms! Now my face hurt!"

"But you t-t-touched—you're a molester!"

"Oh, please! Even if I'm in a gang, I'm not a low-life."

"…."

"…sorry."

"What?"

"….."

"Sorry, what was that?"

"You just want to hear it again, don't you?"

"….."

"I said sorry. Sorry I didn't mean to..to touch your bo—"

"There's no need to name it that way."

"Then, how about ti—"

"That's even worse! Stop calling it like that! Just—just don't _name_ it, okay?"

"But—"

"Fine, I forgive you. Just don't—ugh."

"…."

"I'm hungry."

"M-me too."

"Y'know what? I'm out of here."

"Shhh, I hear voices!"

"Wh-what? I don't hear anything."

"They're coming!

"D-don't-!"

"Ouch, lady! I said they're coming! Sit down!"

"I don't care! **I'm hungry**!"

"Would you just sit still—"

" **NO**."

"They're coming. I can hear them!"

"Maybe it's my stomach rumbling. So—"

"Shhh—"

"Ouch! That hurts—mph!"

"….."

"….."

"Boss! They're here! They're—ah."

"Salamander, you shit! You—oh, shit. **What the hell are you two doing**?"

"This is not what you think it is! I do not even know this guy!"

"Shit, they still find us! Well, I just have to fight you all— **c'mon bastards, give it your best shot**!"

"Nah, I'm done, Salamander. I feel nauseated. I'm not in the condition to fight anymore—"

"B-but—"

"—gotta go drink some beer. Ugh, my eyes..what have I seen..so..so disgusting.."

"C'mon, guys, come back! Are you that afraid of me?"

"Spare us."

"Guys!"

"Nope."

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 **A/N** : Seriously guys, really sorry for this crap. After my long absence in here and I give you just this. But I feel like I should write this down, soooooo yeah.


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